This idea was given to me by Heather, which made one for the message board things for Ally McBeal, thanx 4 the idea! If you have one, please send it to me so I can add it!
*Made By Heather*
Calista was bouncing baby Liam on her knee while she was watching Dark Angel on TV. Surprisingly, thats when she first heard the dreadfully awful news. Robert Downey Jr. was in jail again, story at 10. Calista ignored it, but then stopped dead in her tracks.JAILAGAIN she thoughtno, it COULDNT be!!!
The phone rang and it was Jane on the other line.
Cal, did you see the news?!?! Oh my God!! Jane was talking very fast.
Calista was still in shock she didnt even notice Liam was crying his eyes out. Oh Jane, hold on. She tried to calm Liam down Its okay honey, its okay, as she bounced him on her knee and rubbed his stomach.
She picked up the phone again Jane, sorry. Liam was crying. I she trailed off. I just saw the news while watching Dark Angel, she sighed.
And did you hear further? Jane prodded?
No, what? Calista replied very scared.
Well, Jane played with the phone cord, David fired him.
WHAT??? Calista shrieked. This was too much to handle. Jane I have to go put Liam in bed now and- and- think about- things she hung up the phone and put Liam down for bed in his cradle. She stared at him and wondered what had really happened.
She felt like her life had ended. Everything she held important to her was hanging in the rafters. She wanted to see what people thought of Robert now so she went into her bedroom and onto her laptop into the official Ally Mcbeal website, her show that he was also a part of, and entered the forum cleverly called the unisex.
She saw a bunch of messages headed, Help Robert, Dont let RDJ go etc. She was genuinely touched. There was one particular one that disturbed her. Some crazed fan, well, she wouldnt really call him a fan, posted saying that they shouldnt have fired him, he was pretending to be Robert, and that so what if he does drugs and screws Ally Mcbeal up the ass etc. using VERY vulgar language. The news apparently was that he had been fired from the Ally Mcbeal producers and something else about a 72-hour detoxification center he admitted himself to. She was extremely close to crying her eyes out, she was getting her feelings back from the shock she had when she had first heard about it.
She had a soft spot for the actor. They had been together since they finished filming the final episode in his FIRST time around on the show. They had both been extremely happy when it was confirmed he was coming back to the show to finish the season despite the prior drug arrest, which she herself felt extremely responsible for, in November.
What else could be said? She was in love with him, and he was in love with her, or so she thought. She wanted to support him so much, even though he never called herbut she found it so hard to believe that someone could relapse if things were going so well in a persons life.
Calista tried to remember the last time they were together. She couldnt. She had a feeling it was the day before, but she couldnt be for sure. Wait a minute, something was coming to her, yes; they had had a fight. Oh no!!! Im to blame again!!! Calista started crying hysterically as she flopped down on her bed and cried into her pillow.
* * *
Calista had fallen asleep in the midst of crying and woke up to the phone ringing. She grabbed it.
Hi, Calista. I suspect you heard the news, it was David Kelley. Im kind of wondering why youre not here, he continued.
Not there? Why should I be there? She looked at the clock. I dont have to be there for like another couple of hours, Calista said rubbing her eyes trying to wake up.
Well were going to have a meeting early this morning to discuss possible story conflicts due to Roberts illness, Calista found it odd how David referred to it as an illness. Most people refer to it as a problem. She really didnt know what to think, as she WAS still trying to wake up.
Could you get down to the set as soon as possible? David asked.
Um, um, she stuttered. Yeah, I just gotta get Liam up and ready to go, she sighed.
Okay, see you soon, David hung up the phone sounding way too cheerful for everything thats just happened. His shows reputation is hanging from the rafters and he still manages to stay cheerful. She didnt know how he did it. Seeing as to only a couple of people knew about her and Robert, she was wondering how she was going to stand this. She was embarrassed, to be completely honest.
Calista got up out of bed very slowly and went to get her newly adopted adorable baby boy. He was all giggles that morning which made Calista even sadder. She looked at him and remembered the way Robert was with him, so gentle, and funny, the exact picture of a perfect dad.
Her eyes were glistening with tears as she changed him. Her mind was filled with all of those what-ifs and why mes and it was more than she could take. The worst part of it all was that she blamed herself. Nothing hurts more than feeling like youre responsible for someones drug relapse.
* * *
Calista pulled into the parking lot of the studios that Ally McBeal, her television show in which she played the title character filmed at. She took a deep breath and got out of the car. She got Liam out of the back seat and trudged into the studios, dreading what she would have to listen to, feeling like her life was over as she knew it
* * *
Calista, hi, how are you hanging in there? Jane came up to her smiling sympathetically.
Dont make a scene Jane, come on now! she argued back. There are still people who dont know, REMEMBER??? she continued glaring at Jane as she crept away.
Hey cutie! Portia came up and tickled little Liam in his stomach. Liam giggled, just like he had been all morning.
Calista tried to muster up a smile. Hi, Portia, how are you?
Oh, Im doing alright I guess, just kinda feel bad for the show, ya know? I mean with Robert gone, for one, our ratings might go down again, and I dont like disappointed viewers and secondly, what is going to happen to Ally and Larry? I mean I think, personally, that theyre SO perfect for each other, dont you? Portia continued staring at a dazed Ally very far away from where she was physically at that point.
Ally snapped out of it, What? was all she could say before David came in and asked them all to join him in the conference room where their were writers and producers and actors and such, all of which were involved with the show. All of them were very unprepared to talk about a situation like this.
Well first off, Id like to thank you all for coming down here on such a short notice. I know how many of you like to sleep in as late as possible, everyone nodded in agreement as David continued. And as you all know, Robert will no longer be with us. It was a decision that was tougher on me than any of you could possibly know. I HATE seeing such fabulous talent wasted and we all know that Robert is loaded with it, David sighed, took a deep breath and plunged forward. Calista, she looked up. Seeing as to this effects your character more so than anyone else, I was wondering what you had in mind to end the relationship.
Calista looked at him dumbfounded. David questioned her, You HAVE thought about it havent you?
Everyone was looking at her well staring at her was what it felt like. She felt like she was in a cross-examination in one of her court cases. Um, she looked for the right words. I have, but I have no idea what we should do. Id rather leave that to professionals, indicating with a gesture the writers and David himself trying to make it seem like she knew what she was talking about even though she was a mess and could hardly think straight, let alone figure something out on her own.
Just as I thought, David proceeded, NO help!, trying to make a joke. When he realized it didnt help, he continued. Well weve all been brainstorming non-stop since we heard and we have a few ideas, but nothing solid yet.
Calista was feeling dizzy, she couldnt see straight and her eyes were all misty. Jane poked Calista from the side and asked if she was all right. Calista didnt even hear it and before she knew it, she had gotten up with Liam and, in a sleep walking daze, walked out of the room with everyone gawking back at her.
* * *
Calista? David was knocking on the door to her dressing room where she had disappeared. Are you in there? Are you okay? Please open up, he pursued.
Calista was staring at her reflection in the mirror. She had put Liam down in the baby crib she had in there for him while she was on set. She had been staring at her reflection for the past twenty minutes thinking that she was going absolutely insane.
David, on the other hand, knew Calista wasnt usually like that. She was usually pretty open, as much as she could be anyway, with her feelings, and the fact that all she had were blank expressions and comments worried him.
Listen, Calista, the door opened. Calista then went back and sat down staring in the mirror once again. David timidly stepped inside the dressing room. Calista, we were thinking about the story-line and the most believable thing that we could come up with is Larry, dying, an untimely death. David stared at Calista hoping for a reaction, any kind of reaction. The death would of course be behind closed doors so-to-speak. David waited for a reaction and when he didnt get one, he continued.
Calista interrupted him. Well do whatever you want. Im fine with it youre the writer extraordinaire. I trust your decision, she forced a smile and then got up to go play with Liam.
Calista, are you okay? I know about you and Robert, your heart must be in a million pieceswhy I know if Michelle she cut him off.
Well David, you have nothing to worry about. The person you love doesnt love anything more than you, she said in a surprisingly cheerful tone. David suspected sarcasm, but there was something else behind all of this.
You know what Calista? Go home, recuperate, Ill just tell everyone that you had to take Liam home because he was getting fussy.
Oh no, dont lie to everyone, Im going crazy. I believe thats the truth, Calista told him in an upbeat tone. Um, tell them that I needed to go home and mourn my druggie boyfriend, she continued with a sort of sadness to her tone. It was good seeing you today David, goodbye! she waved as her and Liam left the building.
* * *
Calista looked at herself in the mirror as she was rinsing her face off. Why are you doing this to yourself? she thought. Youre acting so dependent on a man, a man that cant even take care of himself. He obviously doesnt care as much about you as you thought. What were you thinking getting involved with him? Why do you put yourself through this? She all of a sudden remembered their first kiss on the set of the show. There was something in his eyesWhat happened??? she thought. Things were so perfect, and now this. Why do I deserve this? She started crying when the phone rang.
She picked up the phone between sniffles. Hello?
A timid voice replied Um, hi
Calista immediately perked up but not necessarily in a good way. Robert?
You guessed it, he replied, still very soft.
Well, um, where are you? she continued softening her voice to match his.
Im at this, detoxification center in, Valencia, he responded as if trying to remember where he was.
Well, okay, so what really happened? Calista cut to the chase.
Um, okay, Robert had not expected the direct approach from her. I was drunkand an acquaintance of mine was nearby so I stopped by to say hello. For some reason, he was nowhere to be found, so said his wife to me. Well I went through the neighboring areas looking for him, not really knowing what to expect when and if I found him. Well he was at this nearby hotel and he was wasted on something, I dunno what, and I was trying to help him when just my luck, I run into a cop. He looks at me suspiciously and then my friend pulls us into the station. I knew I had nothing to hide, I mean I was only drunk like any other person gets every now and then, and its not like I was driving or abusive or anything like that, just, he paused.
Angry? Calista offered, shaking like a leaf.
More depressed than anything I think, Robert said thoughtfully as he continued. Well anyways, I was very cooperative because I knew I had done nothing wrong, but I also dont want to go to drugs like I did, he trailed off.
The last time we fought, Calista chimed in sadly, remembering last November. She was starting to cry softly.
Calista, honey, please dont crythis is NOT your fault!!! Oh my God, I cant believe youre blaming yourself! Robert was very worried now. Ive made things even worse for her! He yelled at himself. What was his problem he wondered, he couldnt even remember what they had fought about, so it must not have been a big enough deal to do anything, but all he could keep thinking was that he was just drunk, not high or under any other kind of drug. Maybe it was a violation of his probation, but still, not TOO life threatening, or so he thought.
Calista, overly sobbing now, I just dont know what to do with myself! All I do is cause you to relapse and crash right back down to where I should be helping to keep you out of! Im so incredibly sorry baby!!! she continued to cry.
Sweetie, I have to go now, theres the group meeting starting like right now almost, Robert sighed and stated.
NO!!! Dont leave me right now! I need you SO bad baby!! Im SOOO sorry!! Please forgive me!!! I cant live without you! She was crying even harder.
Baby, I have to go, Ill call you soon, I love you so much and I am SOOO sorry to put all of this on you, but please have faith. Ill call you soon, Robert continued, trying to make it easier for the both of them.
In between sniffles, Fine, please dont forget about me. I miss you and dont forget I love you SOOOO much, okay sweetie? Calista looked up and saw Liam kind of whining at the sight of seeing her crying and upset. Liam misses you too, she mustered a semi-half smile.
Alright, Ill call you soon, I promise. Goodbye Cal.
Goodbye Downey, I love you. He hung up the phone.
She crashed down to the floor and started rocking back and forth. Soon was going to be an eternity. She wanted to know what would really happen to him and when and if she would ever see him again in person. Waiting for his call was all she felt like doing. Soon was, how long, she didnt know. But she didnt care much; she just wanted to hear from him again. She missed him so much that it was driving her crazy and making it hard to deal with her son. She loved Liam to death, but she was NOT in a position to take care of him at the moment. She called her mother and asked her if she could come take Liam with her for a little while, while Calista dealt with all of her emotions. Her mother agreed and flew down the same day, by chance, and was gone the next morning.
* * *
Two days later, Calista was sitting on her couch wrapped up in a blanket she remembered them always curling up in and surrounded by tissues. Shed been at home sick since and all she could think of was well he said he still loves me, so it cant be THAT bad, right?
The phone rang. She froze at first, I mean that was what shed been waiting for the past couple of days right? Well she snapped out of it real quick and grabbed the phone.
Hello? Robert? she said fast and nervously completely unaware that it could be someone else.
No, its mother. Um, Robert? she asked, puzzled.
Oh no! Calista thought! She doesnt know yet!!! Um, never mind mom. Hows Liam? Good I hope! she tried to sound somewhat cheerful. She heard a baby noise in the background, a joyful one.
Oh, were doing just fine. Im showing him off to all of my friends, her mother gloated happily. But how are you actually doing?
Oh, Im fine, doing better, Liam can come home soon. Calista said softly.
Call waiting beeped in. Mom, I have to go, I have another call. I love you and thanks again for taking care of Liam, Ill call soon. Goodbye. She clicked over.
Hello? She said.
Honey? Hi! How are you? it was Robert, and he sounded much more cheerful than that last time theyd talked.
She froze once again Robert! Hi! Um, where are you at? she continued playing with the cord nervously.
Um, well, actually, Im about ready to leave the detoxification center, but I wanted to call you like I said I would and just tell you that my court date is Monday and if you wanted to show up at the courthouse, you could, but I dont think youd want to, because of how you feel about privacy and all I mean, he tried to talk fast as if almost she wouldnt hear all that he had said.
Oh baby! Im SOOO coming to your hearing! I wanna know whats going to happen to the man I love! she almost shrieked.
Its okay sweetheart, calm down, its fine by me, but I didnt think youd want to come, he said nervously. He felt like they were falling apart at the seams. He loved her SOOO much, he didnt want to drag her down with him, and thats what he felt would happen.
Good! Calista said triumphantly like shed won a trophy of some sorts.
Well its at the L.A. county court house, 9:00 a.m., he continued, his voice shaking,
Will I, will, she stuttered, Will I be able to see you, I mean tal- talk to you? she stuttered fast her voice shaking.
Um, I couldnt tell you sweetie, Im sorry. I HOPE so, but well just have to see, he finished.
I love you Downey, she said softly, scared shed never see him again. I love you too sweetheart, he replied lovingly.
Wait a minute! Calista exclaimed. Where are you going now? I mean why cant I see you now? Can you come over I REALLY need to see you, Ive been a wreck beyond belief Robert, she said sadly.
Well, he paused, uncertain. I dont wanna drag you into my problems, things are tough right now, and the press is going insane, I dont wanna drag you into this, he said, worried.
Trust me, nothing in the whole world could be worse than the things Ive been feeling. I feel like Im never gonna get to hold you again and be with you, and kiss you. Ive never loved anybody like I love you. This has been hell for me like you wouldnt believe!
This made Robert feel worse, he really had drug her down with him, no pun intended, he thought. You listen to me Calista, I do NOT want you putting your life on hold just for some addict, which I am, he took a deep breath. Even though I might not have done drugs recently, I still am, just an addict. I need help. I think Im going to a rehabilitation centera live-in one, for he paused not wanting to tell her the next part, but somehow he surged forward. Six months to a year, Calistas heart crashed to the floor and broke into a million pieces. Her whole world ended.
How do you expect me to go on? How can I live without you? she practically screamed at him. You are my world baby! What am I gonna do without you?
This is exactly what Robert had feared. Trust me honey, youll survive, youll live on. You have Liam to think about. Youre a mommy Cal, you have a successful television series she cut him off.
That show will NOT be the same without you, and I know Im not the only one who thinks so. All of the fans of the show believe that you did something to it, like you revived it to what it used to be. They love you for it all.
Well all the more reason for you to keep at it. You have things to keep you busy, you have to revive the show and carry it like you used to. I dunno if ever told you this, but I used to watch the show in jailas much as I could whenever I could.
Yeah, but work wont be the same without you! she burst into tears that just kept streaming down her face.
Honey, sweetie, its okay, well be together soon enough. But for right now, I want you to go on, I want you to keep living your life before we found each other, and, when I get out, Ill come to you, and see where we still stand. Im not completely giving up on us, he thought about saying he hoped she wouldnt either, but it was just something he didnt want happening. He didnt want to promise her anything he couldnt keep. Why cant SHE be my motivation?? He thought to himself, I love her, why cant SHE be what I yearn to have and be enough to keep me from doing stupid things?? He scolded himself.
I could never give up on us! Never! she said between sobs.
Well, I have to go now honey. I really do love you. Take care of yourself and that cute little boy of yours. Remember, nothing matters more than him. I learned that the hard way, dont you go doing the same thing to, promise? he begged. He did NOT want that beautiful baby to go through what his own son Indio went through. He had had Indio with his first wife and hed been in the height of his addiction during the period of time he was born and growing up in. He did NOT want that for Liam, and he also felt that Calista was better than that. Calista wasnt saying anything, so he persisted, Promise sweetheart?
She tried to stop crying, but it was useless, she was a leaky faucet that would not shut off. I I I she stuttered not being able to speak. I promise, but promise me that youll come back to me, promise me that. Promise me that youll clean up, for me, for Indio, for Liam.
The mention of his sons name had got him all teary and he shed a tear. I cant promise you anything honey, but I love you and I will come back to you. I have to go now sweetheart. Take care of yourself and your baby. Ill think of you always, he kissed into the phone and she smiled sadly.
I love you too, she took a deep breath. Goodbye.
It hurt him to say this, Goodbye.
She hung up the phone. It was the end of the world.
* * *
Robert hung up the phone and bit his lip to keep it from quivering. Listening to her crying was way too much for him to handle. He HATED putting her through the hell he was, but he honestly didnt see what he had done this time. He had been praying that everything would work out as far as the Palm Springs incident. He was very ashamed of that. He had just told Calista that he loved her more than anything in the world and it didnt work out in his favor. Look what happened, he thought, youre throwing away the best thing that ever happened in your life. He wished she wouldnt come to the hearing, if was sentenced to jail he didnt want her to hear it. How horrible for Calista, he thought. How are you gonna live without her? Theres no life without her. He realized that having a love in your life made things easier. How he figured, he couldnt pinpoint it, mainly because of what happened. Getting drunk is NOT how you get rid of your problemswhat if it was cocaine and you really were caught doing drugs??? He sighed, took a deep breath and walked out of the detoxification center with his parole officer.
Three days later, Monday morning
Calista was about ready to leave. She had previously called a nanny to take care of little Liam; she didnt want to bring him to Roberts hearing. The past three days she had contemplated going and not going. For one, she didnt want to cry in front of all of those people, which she knew was gonna happen, she also was somewhat ashamed of loving a person perceived as a druggie. Then again, on the other hand, she wanted Robert to know that she loved him and supported him 100% no matter what happens. She had balanced the two in between crying and sorting her thoughts out. Not to mention, right after the court hearing, she had to go to work. She had missed the whole past week to recuperate.
Okay darling, Im on my way out, she spoke to Liam as she kissed his forehead. Thanks for coming she said to the nanny, and she was off.
On her way to the courthouse, she was listening to the news, since that was the only thing on the radio that early in the morning. Blah blah blah, thought Calista. Her attention was diverted when she heard a mentioning of Roberts court case. She turned the radio up and almost pulled over, but she didnt want to miss anything.
Top stories today, said the reporter, Robert Downey Jrs long-awaited court trial is today. He was arrested last November for possession of illegal drugs under misdemeanor charges. As most remember, he was more recently arrested for possibly being under the influence of a controlled substance, yet to be announced what, the reporter finished.
Calista sighed and then the radio Deejay commented and Calista held her breath. Man, this guy has been given chance after chance and all he does is blow it. I know Im not the only one who thinks that he had a good thing going on the Fox show Ally McBeal, Calista gasped, the announcer continued. McBeal fans were disappointed when it was announced by David E. Kelley that he was fired from the show although they all wish him a swift recovery and comment positively on his talent. What a shame. Lets just hope he doesnt have a loved one out there thats having to suffer this tremendous loss the deejay finished and the reporter continued.
In other news Calista turned the radio off. She started to cry softly.
* * *
Robert was listening to the same report on his way to the courthouse with his parole officer in the car driving. A tear ran down his face as he thought of Calistas beautiful face. He couldnt understand why or how he could put someone he knew he loved more than anything through the hell he KNEW she was going through. Why do you do this to the people you love? Youre such a dope! He beat himself up inside.
They arrived at the courthouse amidst a tunnel of reporters, TV anchormen and women and just trudged through them, putting sunglasses on so that they couldnt see his misty eyes.
His one thought, above all of them, I hope Calista doesnt come I have a bad feeling about this
* * *
Parking was hell for Calista; she didnt want to be swarmed by photographers. She had thought about asking Jane or somebody from the cast or maybe even David to accompany her so that it didnt look suspicious. She was feeling very self-conscious about everything having to do with Robert. Love is enough, if you love him, people will sympathize, not ridicule she kept telling herself. But somehow, she didnt believe it. This is not going to be good, she had a feeling, why did I really come? She put her sunglasses on and went forward, into a sea of people.
The people of California versus Robert Downey Jr. Please rise Mr. Downey, Robert and his lawyer rose. There have been charges of drug and weapon possession, how do you plead?
Not guilty, Robert said.
He was very attentive to everything the judge was saying and all of the events taking place in the courtroom. So much, that his lawyer began to wonder why and what was going on.
Robert sat there wondering what was going to happen to him. I wonder if Calista is here. What if I never see her again?? He thought nervously. I cant live without her; shes my world. He started beating himself up again. You love her SOOO much, how can you do that??
Calista couldnt help thinking how sexy he still looked. She tried to advert herself to what the problem was. Remember, he might be out of your life forever, well is four years a long time in all honesty?? Shes been working on Ally McBeal for, this was her 4th year, 4th season, and it didnt seem to terribly long. She WAS, after all able to do other things, such as that movie William Shakespeares A Midsummer Nights Dream. She started to sniffle and she tried to cover it up by making it appear like allergies or something because, of course, her eyes were watery too.
Robert sat through the proceedings paying attention as much as possible, careful to not look cocky; he really wanted these charges dropped. He wanted to go back to his life, his life with Calista. He hated letting her down the way he seemed to be. Maybe that clinic will do you good, he pondered. Just breathe, itll all be decided soon. Robert took a deep breath as they called him up to the stand.
* * *
The judge had seen and heard everything that needed to be, and called a one-hour lunch break to come to a verdict and, of course, eat.
Calista was SOO nervous, she wanted Robert to see her and know that she came to support him 110% of the way. She did love him so much and wanted to be there for him. When him and his lawyer turned around to leave, she caught a glimpse of his face. His eyes were all puffy and it looked like he hadnt slept in days. My poor baby, she thought maternally.
This is it, Robert thought. Either shes here or shes not. He tried to nonchalantly glance around the courtroom and thenthere she was. She came, he thought rapidly. Oh my God, what do I do?
She wanted to run over to him and hold him, kiss him, make love to him, all of the above that she hadnt been able to do in the past week. But most of all, she just wanted to tell him that she would be behind him 110% and to not give up on them as she had dreaded he might have.
Their eyes met and Robert quickly mouthed the words Follow me, PLEASE!
She got real nervous because she didnt understand. Quickly she mouthed back What??? The second time around she understood and then casually got up as if to leave for lunch like everyone else. She had originally thought to just pout in the hall for no apparent reason because she was so depressed.
Robert nudged his lawyer, Calistas here! he whispered quickly. I wanna have lunch with her, is that possible? He looked at his lawyer with pleading eyes trying not to look too suspicious, as they were about to get into the press area.
So THATS why he looked so pitiful in court and has been down and out, he thought. He never in a million years thought that Robert would fall in love. Definitely not with someone he works with, hes usually too professional for that. Well lets see, its love, ah what the hell! Love is love I respect that. Okay, he quickly replied. But well have to go somewhere discreet, I dont know where yet though, he looked at Robert.
Robert looked back at him with this horrendously grateful look on his face. Okay, well I mouthed to her to follow me, so well just keep walking, she shouldnt be too far behind, Robert informed him.
Calista wondered what they were whispering; she could barely see what was going on with all the heads and people in front of her. She was TRYING to be discreet, but not being very successful, she was almost positive someone saw her rising on her toes every now and then to see over people.
As soon as they got outside the courtroom Robert stopped and turned around real quick. He made a beeline backwards, when he found Calista, he just swooped her up in his arms, much to her surprise and squeezed her tight. Neither of them thought about all the pictures being taken, all that existed at that moment was each other.
* * *
Oh my God, what did we just do?? Calista said. We just let our love for each other be known to the world!! DEFINITELY not how I wanted it to be put out there, she thought to herself.
Robert just looked at her. They were sitting in a small café about 2 blocks away at a table alone while his lawyer was across the way a little bit watching them, part of his duties in having Robert in his custody, so-to-speak. You look SOOO beautiful, he murmured. I really wish I didnt do this to you Calista, I want you to know how deeply I regret everything Ive done to you and us, past and present, he looked at her as he took a deep breath.
Oh baby! Thanksgiving was my fault entirely!!! I shunned you away when you were just being honest. I should have been more careful with thingsI mean I know your history, I knew it then, and it didnt even dawn on me. Bad things are what drive people to do the stuff their addicted to, she remembered her baking when he showed up, it was her way of relieving tension.
Oh my God Calista! Do NOT blame yourself for that!!! Not at all!!! he was pleading with her. It was my fault that I got into drugs when I did and that I didnt fix the problem when it was fixable. You are NOT to blame sweetheart! he looked at her so lovingly.
Robert, whats going to happen to us? she looked at him with worry and fear in her eyes.
Well, no matter what happens, Im going into that live-in drug rehab. I think its whats best for me honey. I mean I DO have a problem. I think it might be a little bit deeper, but I still need some time to battle this. And when I get out, if I dont go to jail that is, Im going to devote myself to staying clean and keeping us happy he trailed off. He wanted her to wait for him, but then again he didnt. Then again, he decided to continue, I doubt there will be an us in the future because I dont want you to put your life on hold for me. I want you and Liam to live and survive and be happy. That little boy deserves a fulltime mom, not one thats preoccupied by an old druggie boyfriend, he said matter-of-factly.
How could you say something like that? she almost shrieked at him. How could I, you, we, throw away what we have when we know its real and its a good thing?? she asked ridiculously. You are the most important thing in my life next to Liam. You are the sun in my sky and the sparkle in my eyes. I am and will wait for you, however long it takes. I dont want you to feel like Im just another person who gave up on you when you are on the verge of finally being there. I dont believe that youre to blame. I dont think youve gotten the help that you seriously need. My guess, is that the fact that this six month rehabilitation place youre going to be living at, itll do the trick, and thats because youre ready and willing. Youre ready to finally kick this habit, she said thoughtfully and then proceeded again. Why dont you let ME be your motivation? Think that, for once, someone is willing to stand by you till the end, bitter or sweet. I am that person. She smiled slightly at him.
Robert looked at her adoring eyes and thought. Wow, how did someone as unlucky as me get the best thing luck could bring anybody? One side of his head said, dont let her go man, shes the best youve ever had and will ever get!!! And then the other side chimed in, well you might ruin her life if you let her wait for you forever, you ARE a druggie, remember?? He looked for wordsBut Calista, there just arent any promises with me. I cant guarantee you much of anything. I dont trust myself enough to promise you something.
But baby -, Robert interrupted her.
No Cal, I cant do that to you, do you understand what youre getting yourself into? Dont get me wrong, I want nothing more than for you to be there waiting for me when I get back, but I dont know if this rehab will do anything for me.
Calista looked for words. I, um she paused. I wish I could understand what its like to be an addict, but I really dont, I wont lie to you. All I know is that its a very hard thing to go through. But I know one thing for sure, if I was in your position, she paused and gave him a warm comforting smile, even though it didnt comfort him much. I would want someone right beside me encouraging me the whole way through and having faith in me that no one else ever had. Well here I am, thats me, 110% devotion to you. FOREVER, she emphasized forever because she knew she didnt want to leave him for as long as she lived. He was it, she remembered an episode of Ally McBeal where Larry said that about Ally to Jamie. Interesting how art imitates life, art being acting in this example of course, she thought.
Robert looked at her, crying gently now. How did I get so lucky to find you? he asked her with hurt in his eyes. Ive had such a hard time, where were you before?
It wasnt our time honey, and now it is and well get through this, she looked at him reassuringly.
Time to go to court Rob, his lawyer interrupted him.
Robert looked at Calista. Will you accompany me? he offered his arm.
Most certainly, Calista replied with tears in her eyes.
* * *
Robert and Calista walked into the courthouse hand in hand dreading what they might hear in the next 5 minutes. Behind them was a buzz of reporters shooting off questions like So you ARE together? and others of the same topic.
They just clung to each other like little children clung to their parents, with fear and frustration, however with the utmost love and devotion.
Robert escorted Calista to the row behind where he sat and she took a seat, holding his hand the whole way.
The judge came in, everyone rose and they, still, did not drop hands. The judge sat, so did they, still clung to each other. Calista was determined to hold his hand whatever the result may be.
The judge proceeded. This was a very hard case to decide over, he began. I do not appreciate your misbehavior Mr. Downey, this court is not a circus act you can just appear in at any time. He paused and stared hard at Robert who somewhat bowed his head down and squeezed Calistas hand a little bit tighter; she reciprocated and eyed him nervously. He didnt glance back though. His attention was 100% on the judge. He proceeded, This case, in my opinion, is a mockery of the system. Much to some as well as even my, dismay, I believe that Mr. Downey was set up and did not knowingly possess those drugs. I also believe that no guns were present. Therefore, he took a deep breath. I find, Robert Downey Jr., not guilty on charges of weapon and drug possession. Mr. Downey, you are free to go under the examination of your parole officer from your previous case on account that you get the help you more than likely still need. Court adjourned, he banged the mallet on the post and rose.
Calista jumped up happily and threw her arms around Robert. She was so incredibly happy that he was free from those dreadful charges.
Robert had tears in his eyes. He was free. Free, theres a new word he had not heard before, at least not meaningful. He hugged Calista tightly and whispered, I love you so much sweetheart, in her ear.
I love you too Downey, she gladly reciprocated.
They parted and he shook hands with his lawyer. Thanks for bailing me out once again man, I will always be grateful for all of your help and persistence in my cases. Im hoping this will be the last, or, second to last anyways, he finished sadly, thinking of the previous weeks arrest.
Ill be in touch, he replied and left Calista and Robert almost virtually alone in the room.
Well, began Calista. Shall we go out there and greet the world as a happy couple? she looked at him.
But I thought he cut himself off.
I dont care anymore Downey, I love you and I dont care who knows. They can all suck it up! she finished triumphantly, grabbed his hand and led him out of the courtroom into the hall leading to the group of hounding pressmen and women.
* * *
They were wrapped up in each others arms curled up on Calistas sofa at her home watching TV that evening when the decided to talk about the inevitableRoberts departure to the live-in rehab.
Honey, he began, You do know within a day or so Im going to have to leave again, he said his voice full of grief, like somebody died or something of the sort.
I am ready for it baby, Calista said confidently. I really do have faith in us. I believe that we will last and no matter what happens, we will always find a way back to each other. I will continue living my life and raising my beautiful baby, while waiting for you to return to me where you belong.
He looked at her and leaned in to kiss her. Their lips met for the first time since the previous weekend. Fact of the matter is, they had been afraid to kiss one another. Robert felt a surge of renewed faith, in himself and them.
I love you sweetheart, Robert said.
I love you too Downey.
6 Months and a Week Later
Calista was playing with Liam on the floor in front of the TV when the phone rang.
Hello? she picked it up.
Guess who? replied a familiar voice.
HEY!!! Baby!! Where are you? Calista shrieked excited.
Well, Im about ready to leave this place, and I have made plans for us. Can you be ready in, Robert looked at his watch. An hour and a half?
Where are we going? Calista asked curiously.
Its a surprise. Just be ready and outside in an hour and half from now. I love you, and he hung up the phone.
Calista was SO ecstatic. She called Jane and asked her if she would come by and watch Liam for her after she filled her in on what was going on. Jane agreed and was over there half an hour later.
Oh my God Calista, this is great! I really hope all of this works out for you. I dont know how youve managed to stay cheerful and joyous even while hes been gone.
Faith Jane, its all about faith. I have a tremendous amount of it in me, she said happily.
They looked at each other and Calista finally let out a happy squeal and all of a sudden Liam chimed in and the girls laughed.
He gets cuter every time he laughs I swear!!! Jane exclaimed.
Calista excused herself to her bedroom for a minute. She looked in her closet and contemplated what to wear. Knowing Robert the way she felt she did, she knew that he would have something extremely romantic planned, so she decided on a black dress that was just perfect. It was kind of sexy, but at the same time, casual enough to where if they went out in public, it would be just fine.
Well that time was creeping up on Calista as she finished putting on her make-up while chatting up with Jane.
She looked at the clock. Well I suppose I should head downstairs, she said excited.
You look so great Cal, go get your man, youve waited long enough, you deserve it! Jane smiled at Calista.
Calista kissed Liam on the forehead. Bye honey, she cooed. Wish me luck, she told Jane.
Oh you dont need it hun, just go have fun with the man you love, she smiled again.
Bye, Calista said as she headed out of the door.
Well the timing couldnt have been more on the ball because as soon as Calista shut the door, there was a limo outside with the driver holding the door open. Calista grinned a large grin and got in. She expected to see Robert, but was disappointed. However, there was a note that said, youve waited long enough; tonights your night sweetheart. I love you. Have some wine, relax, and anticipate She smiled and poured herself some wine. Heres to us, she toasted silently.
* * *
The limo stopped, Calista wondered where they were. The door opened and she stepped out. There was an escort who took her arm and led her inside a beautiful house. She looked around in amazement wondering whos house it was and why she was there of all places.
As soon as they got inside, her escort led her to a table in the middle of the entrance On it was a note on invitation like paper that said I told you it would be worth it, come into the dining room.
She set the card down and looked at the escort. He motioned towards her right and she walked into the dining room. There was a table set for two, candlelight of course, and Robert standing there with a solid red rose. Calistas eyes glistened. She stared at him. He had a new haircut, freshly shaved, and a crisp tuxedo-like suit. They stared at each other and subconsciously walked towards each other at the same pace.
Robert was astonished at how much seeing her affected him. He knew it was going to be special, but there was just something that struck him when he saw her face all lit up.
He looks so handsome, she thought. I forgot just how good he looked. She took a deep breath.
They got close enough to each other and Robert took Calistas hand in his and kissed it tenderly. He held onto it, and led her to the table. He sat her down and took the place opposite her. Their eyes never left each others daze.
Finally the silence was broken. Ive missed you sweetheart, Robert said with such tenderness and affection.
Calista was glowing, I missed you just as much baby, she added.
They talked over dinner, which was a gourmet meal, so Calista thought, even though she pretty much knew it was. It was like a five-course meal in a nutshell.
At the end of dinner, Robert decided to get serious. How much do you love me? he asked nervously.
Robert Downey Jr., how can you ask me a question like that?? she ridiculed.
Well, he sighed.
Well what? You know how much I love you sweetie. You mean more to me than anyone in the whole world ever has. I love you with all of my heart, soul, and THEN some, she emphasized.
Then, he pulled out a small black velvet box, opened it and looked at it under the table, well Calistas line of sight anyways.
She looked at him curiously, wondering what was going to happen.
He shut it quietly, put it back into his pocket, got up and led her upstairs. They went into a room that was made for a young child. Calista gasped as soon as she saw it. Her eyes were glistening as she scanned the roomit was everything she had wanted for Liam.
She looked at him, he had dropped to one knee, and she subdued a tear. He took her hand in his, Calista, I know I wont ever be perfect, but the time in that rehab really did it for me. I realized a lot of things, and most important of all, I discovered that I wanted to be with you for the rest of my life. You were and are my motivation for staying well and clean. I will never put you through what you had to go through the past 6 months. THAT, I CAN promise you. He looked into her eyes that were glistening with tears. He took the plunge, Ms. Calista Flockhart, may I have the honor and privilege of making you my wife? he asked looking deep into her eyes.
A tear rolled down her face. Yes Robert, yes, yes, and yes again.
Robert got up and took the ring out of the box, slipped it on her finger and then tipped her chin up and kissed her ever so gently on the lips.
I love you Cal.
I love you Downey.